Bean Funnies

March 30, 2011

by Papa

When you hear what sounds like someone diving into the toilet, he is, and it’s Moose.

There is always a calm before a poop storm.

Around Maison Bean a loud crash is always followed by a crying kid or a screaming adult.  If the crash is followed by both the kid crying and the screaming adult, it’s call a disaster.  

The largest selling item at Wal-Mart is bananas which seems strange since we don’t get ours there.

My desk chair being pushed through the living room at 30 mph by Jax with Moose at the helm has started to seem normal.

Little feet become a blur when the Big Wheel hits 40 mph.

An 18-month-old is always eight seconds faster than a 60-year-old in the 40-yard dash.

Moose could escape the average county jail in 43 seconds flat.

If a kid is missing at Maison Bean, it saves time to check the countertops first.

Need a pair of kids shoes? No problem.  Need a matching pair?  Forget it.

It takes an adult 37 minutes to clean up Jax’s room, and it takes Jax’s 4 seconds to take it back apart.

At Maison Bean if you sweep the floor 14 times in a day, it’s still a pigpen.

Little Beans think paper towels and toilet paper look better unrolled.

Can’t find the tub stopper?  Look in the attic—it’s the room upstairs with a padlock on the door.

Moose can wear out a light switch in about two days and all that flashing light gives Jenny a migraine.

White wine isn’t a cure for a migraine, but who cares.

I had to handcuff my chair to the bed to keep Moose and Jax from throwing it down the stairs.  Now, when I hear Moose crying up there, I smile knowing he’s frustrated because he can’t lift the bed.

Papa and Moose double team the cheese counter girl at the neighborhood grocery.  Moose raises hell, and Papa tell her which cheese sample will shut him up. 

In our neighborhood people know that if a small hand appears in their mail slots, it’s best to just put some candy in it.

Note from Jenny
Be sure to come back in two days for the Friday Special.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Pamela March 30, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Very clever on the cheese counter double team. Papa teaches these boys well!

Irene March 30, 2011 at 4:20 pm

This was cute!! Enjoy all this Papa, they grow SO fast! You know that better than anyone! When they stop pushing your desk chair across the floor, you’ll miss it!

justine March 30, 2011 at 5:27 pm

that was HI-larious! i love it. you beans make me giggle. i especially love the one about handcuffing the chair to the bed.

JDaniel4's Mom March 31, 2011 at 1:49 pm

There truly is calm before the poop. JDaniel has never pooped though in his whole life. If you ask him, he will tell you I don’t poop. I am not sure how it gets into his pull up.

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