When you cast stones, all you can post are pictures

January 11, 2012

Tweet Prelude When Portia and I were teenagers, we used to babysit for Mrs. Borden.  Mrs. Borden had born three hoodlums (all male) to a crazy man.  Mr. and Mrs. Borden liked to go out and have fun and then she and Mr. Borden, who was crazy (did I mention that?), would come home all […]

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Skunks, vodka, voodooists and Clarence DeMar

January 5, 2012

Tweet By Papa Jenny did an excellent job describing the Moose Stink, not to mention pulling off a great scam on Papa for free diaper changing. Now let me take a crack at that smell. It’s like you buy a bottle of Grey Goose and hide it under your bed so those deadbeats you’re related […]

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When life gives you lymphoma

December 29, 2011

Tweet “Jenny, I’m not going to do it.  Listen to me—I AM NOT GOING TO DO IT.” “Papa, it can’t hurt anything, and there’s a good chance it might be your miracle cure.” “I don’t know, Jenny….” At Maison Bean, we don’t do things in moderation.  If we’re going to do something, we commit to […]

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When life gives you lemons

December 21, 2011

Tweet In the year 2005 BLB (before little Beans), Hyacinth and I made a road trip to visit Lillianna in Florida.  It was December and Lilli’s big hound followed Hyacinth around like a love-struck puppy, and Hyacinth, who was demure in comparison and who couldn’t as much tinkle without the big doofus underfoot, finally told […]

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Cruising on crazy

December 14, 2011

Tweet With Papa and Mimi continuing to climb in years, I knew that we were eventually going to have deal with geriatric problems, and I was prepared… for something like Dementia, Pickled Liver, Ingrown Toenail, Acute Cantankerousness, Tennis Elbow. I was not prepared for Papa’s news—Papa who rides his bike all over town and who […]

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Thanksgiving à la Bean, part II

December 7, 2011

Tweet This is the second and final installment on the Bean Thanksgiving holiday.  If you haven’t read the first installment, you might start there first. In the wee hours of Black Friday Jax whimpered in his sleep. The whimpering progressed to crying and the crying progressed to blood curdling screams. His ear hurt, and it […]

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Thanksgiving à la Bean

November 30, 2011

Tweet Newsflash:  Sissy Bean recently moved back to town with her boyfriend Buzz.  The West Virginia winters had started to become a drag.  Sissy is the youngest of the three Bean girls.  Her nickname is Zoro.  She’s kind of like Papa’s dog Rooster—she leaves her mark. Thanksgiving à la Bean: installment one Thanksgiving dawned bright […]

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What to do if your debit card expires: she knows a lot about that

November 16, 2011

Tweet If you’ve joined the 21st century, you no longer write checks. You don’t even know where your checkbook is. You don’t even like people who write checks, namely because you’re always in line behind them waiting interminably while they do it. If you’ve joined the 21st century, you rely heavily—probably too heavily on your […]

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Raising children and old people

November 9, 2011

Tweet My cell phone rang in the office several weeks ago. It was 4 p.m., and I had a project to finish. Me: Hello. Grandma: Boo Boo, is that you? Me: No, Grandma, it’s Jenny. Grandma: Where’s Boo Boo? Me: This is my phone? Grandma: Huh?! Me: This. Is. My. Phone. Grandma: He’s at home?! […]

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Great Grandma Bean learns to drive

November 2, 2011

Tweet by Papa (because Jenny ate too much candy to write a post) Great Grandma Bean never learned to drive. I think it was a left-right thing since she always seemed confused about what side of the road to be on. In spite of her directional handicap, she got an Alabama driver’s license in 1960 […]

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