The preface
With a materialistic brother who has two and a half years on him, Moose learned from a tender age how to take up for himself.
Once when he was 9 months old, I was in the kitchen when I heard a ruckus brewing. I ran into the living room fully prepared to chastise Jax for taking a toy away from Moose. Instead I found Jax on the floor with his arm held high in the air trying to keep a cup of raisins away from Moose who was on top of him and who was doing his damnedest to get those raisins.
By the time he was 14 months old, Moose’s teachers had nicknamed him “Bulldozer.” By the time he was 18 months old, he was knocking the little girl babies in his class down when he hugged them. And by the time he was 20 months old, he was pulling hair… for three long months.
He finally stopped when I gave his little strawberry blond locks a tug.
When I envisioned motherhood, it was filled with rainbows and daisies with a lot of laughter and magic mixed in. There was no hair pulling, there were no skirmishes. . . and there certainly was no brooding about the afterlife.
The scene
Rural Alabama, early December, Mimi’s homestead, which is still in the family despite the fact that it goes mostly unoccupied except for a few times a year when Mimi visits.
The conversation
Jax: Mommy, who lives here?
Me: My grandparents used to live here.
Jax: Where are they?
Me: In heaven with God.
Jax: How did they get there?
Me: The angels took them.
Jax: Why?
Me: Because they were very, very old, and it was time for them to go be with God.
Thankfully, Jax ran out of questions. A damn good thing because I was running out of answers. But he must have brooded about it for some time after our conversation.
A few days later, he brought it up again.
Jax: Mommy, we can’t go to heaven now.
Me: Why?
Jax: Because Moose will pull the Baby Jesus’s hair.
Addenda:
- Who can argue with logic like that? We can’t have Moose pulling the Baby Jesus’s hair.
- Moose started pulling hair again when he heard me bragging to the teachers that he was over it.
- We have a little heaven at Maison Bean occasionally. Sometimes on Saturday nights when the ghost of Emma Louise is quiet and Hyacinth’s snores aren’t so loud, when I’m in bed with my chardonnay and my ice-cream watching All Creatures Great and Small on my laptop (thank you, Pamela), and the little Beans are slumbering peacefully, that’s heaven and I’m happy.
{ 13 comments }
Exactly.
We are in heaven. Heaven on earth.
We just have to see it.
Beautiful post here today.
Thank you.
From the mouths of babes…..This post made me smile 🙂
Aww, and it gets better as they get older. Just different conversations….like “how come girls are different than boys down there mom?”
Make sure the Chardonnay is well stocked.
Jenny Bean, Alexandra is right about heaven on earth.
I keep a bottle of water on my bedside in case I need a late night
drink. Last night I took a long drink of water in the dark and ended up
with 50 cents in my mouth. When I catch the little change-in-the-water-bottle culprit, we won’t be talking heaven on earth.
I’m thinking Moose is irresponsible for crimes against the water bottle since I’ve
been giving Jax lessons on the pleasures of picking up coins for his
piggy bank–he scrounged up over two bucks at the Ladie’s Club when we cleaned up the joint on Presiden’t Day. Returning things to their proper place (things like tops on a water bottle) is a very non-Bean thing to do…. Where are these kids coming up with this stuff?
Bottom-line: You should do a better job controlling those kids. My job as a grandparent is to spoil them which is coming along fine.
By the way I found Hyacinth’s rawhide bone in Rooster’s bed this morning. Looks like my boy Rooster outwitted your dimwitted bitch again?
Papa
A child’s logic is the most entertaining. Had this conversation when I was pregnant:
Bratty Nephew: Why are you so fat?
Fat Me: Because I have a baby in my belly.
BN: A fat baby?
FM: Yes, apparently.
BN: Does that mean Mommy has a baby in her butt?
Precious, just precious.
Store up all that treasure of those moments because you’re going to need that fuel for surviving all the hi-jinx of these 2 as teenagers.
He might pull baby Jesus hair…that’s a winner.
Delightful post!
To those who aren’t moms, these antics are adorable. My great nephew has the habit of breaking out into blood-curdling screams in public places just to test his parents. To me, it’s cute and funny but I don’t think they enjoy being out as much as they used to.
Thank you for a Sunday morning laugh. Pulling baby Jesus’ hair = priceless quote from the mouth of little beans.
That Jax is a smart one! 🙂
I love this. Kids always seem to do and say these kinds of things right when you need it, too.
So glad you’re able to enjoy those moments. It makes everything worthwhile. 😉
P.S. I’m finally putting sites on my blogroll. Hope you don’t mind that I’ve added yours. It always makes me smile!
I love the reasoning why your entry to heaven is delayed.
Love!!!
Get this – mine use “going to heaven” now as a manipulative ploy against each other to get Mommy’s attention when they aren’t being nice.
“You need to go to heaven…because you’re being mean!” Oh, dear.
“How about you just kindly ask your brother to ask God to help him be nice, sweetie?”
You’re welcome! I retreat to ACGS for peace as well. But your boys are just too precious. Pulling Jesus’ hair. Love it 🙂
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