Welcome to the Avenue of Americas

August 2, 2012

Forty-five hundred bloggers and the Hilton bar didn’t open until noon.When I asked the barista in a coffee shop in Times Square where the Hilton was, she looked confused. I asked her where Avenue of Americas was. She said something I didn’t understand. I asked her to repeat it. I still didn’t understand. Why doesn’t anyone speak English anymore?

Maybe they just don’t speak Southern.

Avenue of Americas was not on my iPad map and I couldn’t Google it because the coffee shop didn’t have wifi. So I started walking… and walking… and walking. And then I got hungry. I decided to get a hotdog but then I spied myself in one of those large reflective windows I kept walking by and decided I looked like a woman who needed to avoid hotdogs.

Then I almost had heart failure when I stepped in one of those little cess pools at the street corner where cigarette butts and foul smelling substances collect. And sometime later, I discovered 6th Avenue, aka Avenue of Americas.

Who knew that streets had aliases?! So that’s what the non-Southern speaking barista was trying to tell me.

I walked up 6th Avenue a long, long way. New York is hot and very loud. And the Hilton, which I finally reached it was like an oasis–cool with clean bathrooms where I could wash the cess off my feet and a bar where I could have a much deserved bloody Mary.

Except that it was 11 a.m. and the bar didn’t open until noon. (When you’ve been up since 4 a.m., 11 a.m. is the new cocktail hour.)

Anyway, it turned out that the Hilton was trying to save me from myself. My salad that I had to get from Starbucks (because they don’t serve food at the Hilton bar) was $20 and my bloody Mary was $16.95, which included an unexpected 15 percent gratuity to a bartender who had to be dragged away from the Oympics to make my drink.

Welcome to Avenue of Americas.

 

 

 

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Ally August 2, 2012 at 3:20 pm

TWENTY DOLLAR SALAD AT STARBUCKS??!! I live in a sheltered world. LOL
Anyone who has been up (and traveling!) since 4am deserves a Bloody Mary before noon. What the heck is wrong with the Hilton? 😉 Glad you found your hotel!

Pamela August 2, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Oh man, that sounds bad 🙁 But at least the salad and drink were good, right? I hope so, for that price and service!

Irene August 2, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Um, yeah, 6th Ave is Ave of the Americas….
I hate NYC.
That was rude of the Hilton not to have the bar open! I mean it was 5 o’clock somewhere…maybe just not in NYC.
Jeez, $17 for a Bloody Mary? Did they fresh squeeze the tomatoes for the juice or something?
I so hate NYC!

Jenn August 2, 2012 at 4:41 pm

The salad and bloody Mary were comme ci comme ca, and certainly not worth the cost.

Betsy and I just found a delightful place called Wine & Spirits, and we’ve just loaded up. The conference is at the Hilton, but we’re in an apartment… kind of a sublet deal.

Pray for Papa. He and Sissy are at home with the little Beans. Mimi comes tomorrow.

Kristy K. James August 2, 2012 at 6:45 pm

If someone wanted to charge me $20.00 for a salad, it would either have to be sprinkled with flecks of gold…or 99% of the ingredients had better be Rib Eye steak, grilled medium. Good grief! Guess you should have opted for the hot dog. 🙂

Have fun at your conference…and avoid anymore cesspools. Yuck.

papa August 3, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Watch what you say about NYC…the bitch will get mad and have a brown out or something.

You should NEVER drink alone, so for sixteen bucks worth I need to scarf down about 6 bloody marys to keep up.

Cheers,
Papa

Heather August 3, 2012 at 4:21 pm

I had Chuck E Cheese pizza and a diet Pepsi (why does anyone still serve Pepsi?) at 10:30 AM this morning. I would have paid $25 for a bloody mary. I did try and get a sweet tea, but quickly realized it was “instant tea!” Again, why does anyone serve instant tea??? Enjoy NYC. Cannot wait to read about more of your travels. Sending love from home…

Elizabeth Newlin August 9, 2012 at 5:47 pm

I TOTALLY AGREE. Dear NYC, how’s about you don’t make things MORE CONFUSING for us poor tourists by giving streets two names, mmkay? Like it’s already not a total clusterf with all the number streets intersecting other number streets. SIGH.

I apparently met you at BlogHer, but sadly, I’m a terrible note taker and we must not have talked long enough for me to associate your blog with your face. But I will becoming back because you’re funny, and I love me some funny. 🙂

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