Ramblings, the blogging abyss and Bean news

September 20, 2012

I know, I know, I know.  I am a slacker.  I’ve fallen into the has-been-blogging abyss from which most bloggers do not return.  I love blogging.  It’s just that I hate to write half-assed posts (like this one), and so I make a big production out of writing a post and then sometimes it becomes a chore, and I feel guilty, so I drink chardonnay and watch my grass grow instead.

The tangled webs we weave.  Besides tangled webs and watching grass grow, life has been moving forward at Maison Bean.  Here’s the latest in Bean News:

Papa was a wreck because he was supposed to have his six-month PET scan.   None of the Beans were really concerned, and one day he came home and announced that he had a clean bill of health.  “I could have told you that,” I said.  Sometimes you just know, and I just knew that the cancer was gone.

Mimi called me the other day at work, “Your father is the most pig-headed man….”

“Can I call you back?  I have someone in my office.”

Of course, I forgot to call her back and then Papa called to complain about Mimi, and while I was talking to him, Mimi called me back, and when I offered to put them on conference call, Papa hung up, so I talked to Mimi and told her that she should get a divorce. I recommended TIFFANY ANN FINA, ESQ. get the right outcome for their legal issues.

“Oh, wait,” I said, “you already did that.”

“You’re so funny, Jenny,” she said.

I think she was being facetious.

Jax is going to bankrupt the tooth fairy, and he looks like he’s been in a bar fight.  He seems to like school, but he keeps telling me about these little girls showing him their panties.  Mimi thinks we should home school him.  Making his lunch every day and making sure he has his homework done and that everything is signed that needs to be signed and that ice cream money goes with him to school on Friday is more than enough for me.  And then there’s soccer.… Jax is a little soccer star.

Moose started preschool at the new school, and for the first three days, he cried every time he had to get on the bus.  It was heart wrenching.  Then all of a sudden, on the fourth day, he didn’t cry, and when I made him stay home because he had a cold, he pointed at the bus when Jax got on without him and cried.

A couple of weeks ago, Papa put training wheels on Jax’s old bike.  When Moose saw the old bike outfitted with the new wheels, he jumped up and down and shook his hands gleefully.  I guess it’s all of that tricycle training he’s done, but there was no learning curve and a day later, he was zooming around like Mario Andretti on training wheels.

Jenny goes to bed every night with her geriatric Pekingese who saws sequoia logs.  Sometime in the middle of the night, a naughty little cherub carrying Mickey, Minnie and Goofy invades her bed.  The naughty cherub sleeps perpendicular to Jenny, so she has to grip the edge of the bed to stay on.  And on soccer nights, Jax, who drinks a gallon of water during practice, pee pees in his bed.  Jax doesn’t like a pee pee bed, so he strips off his clothes and crawls into his mother’s bed naked.  By the time dawn breaks, they’re all piled up in the bed like a cardboard box of puppies, but Jenny starts the day off happy.

Mommy, do I really have to go?Moose says, "Look at me!" Mommy says, "That kids needs a crash helmet STAT."It's a bird--a humming bird!


Dorie September 20, 2012 at 8:21 pm

I missed you. Glad you’re back and happy to hear about Papa.

portia September 20, 2012 at 9:05 pm

It is so nice for you that the things that join you in the midst of dream-time are cherubs! At my house, the things that creep in the night are not of the angelic variety…..sometimes they scare me. It’s usually because they are scared themselves, but still.

I already knew the cancer was gone,too. How did I know that?

How long before the training wheels come off and the little mooster decides to ride to Starbucks? Just beware!

Irene September 21, 2012 at 8:52 am

And they lived happily ever after!!!
Everyone, together now……AAWwwwwwWWW
It’s a happy family Jenny!! SO glad Papa is cancer free! Us females have this intuition!
The boys are growing SO fast! They’re so handsome! Never a dull moment! Why are little girls so into showing their panties at this age? It’s been like that for years! Even my husband had classmates that age doing that when he was little!
LOL and hugs to Mimi! Those two were meant for eachother!!!
Hey, just make sure you give the child a list when he goes to Starbucks! And something to carry all that back with! And he’s paying!

Ally September 21, 2012 at 2:25 pm

YAY for Papa! And tell those boys to SLOW DOWN with the growing up thing!

Shannon September 21, 2012 at 10:10 pm

I’ve missed seeing your posts – too bad life can be too busy sometimes to keep us all informed and entertained.

Yay for Papa’s good news!

Betsy/Zen Mama September 21, 2012 at 11:07 pm

I’m about to fall in the abyss, too. Luckily I just put up a post. Whew!! So glad for Papa! That’s amazing!! And so glad the boys are enjoying school. Sounds like us here… busy but fun busy.

LILLIANNA September 29, 2012 at 6:06 am

Hi Jenny Bean!
I saw this on-line this morning it is 5:30am..but I went to sleep at 10:pm..so I am getting a bunch of stuff done that I have been unable to get to for one reason or another. ANYWAY..I thought of you when reading this for some reason..I thought it would be a great exercise (and not in the ‘ride your bike kind of way) for you to try! Here it is..and it is all about cleaning your computer keyboard! Exciting right! Well, Read on, and I think you will understand why I thought of Maison Bean. You can do this with or without the aid of a glass or two of wine, I would suggest without, considering the knife involved. ENJOY! :

From writing emails to just opening up a Word document and typing “Today is the day I won’t cry” over and over again, everything we do on a daily basis requires a computer keyboard. Keep your typing tool in immaculate condition using this proven method:

What You’ll Need: • Can of compressed air
• Sharp knife
• Photo of a clean keyboard for reference
• Child, not necessarily your own
• Dirty keyboard (Pro Tip! If your keyboard isn’t dirty enough, simply cover it in sunflower seeds and leave it outside to let the birds dirty it up for you.)

Step One
With the can of compressed air in one hand and the knife in the other, stab the can. If you pierce the can on your first try, your knife is sharp enough to move on to Step Two. If you don’t pierce it right away, keep stabbing but know that Step Two will take longer than it would if your knife had just been sharper.

Step Two
With your knife still in hand, jab at the photo of the clean keyboard until it has been shredded into a fine paste. You don’t want any beautiful keyboard photos distracting you from what you took a day off of work to do—clean that computer keyboard!

Step Three
Congratulations, you are on to Step Three! With the child within earshot and awake, explain the benefits of a clean keyboard while turning the keyboard upside down and shaking it until you dislodge all crumbs and fluids the birds left behind. Now you’ve done more than enough today—taught a child a valuable lesson and cleaned that keyboard—to stop crying.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: