April Fools gone wild

April 6, 2011

Tweet It was a joke—an April Fools’ joke, and the response to the 814-word post was an eye-opener.  I always try to keep posts under a thousand words because I know that people who are reading websites don’t want tomes. When Papa first read the post prior to publication, he said, “But Sylvia and I […]

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Maison Bean unplugged

April 1, 2011

Tweet Life at Maison Bean has been even more outrageous than usual.  It all began with Moose, who got himself expelled from the Wee School for conduct unbecoming a toddler.  Specifically, he said “shit.”  A lot. Mimi blamed it on Papa, and Papa blamed it on me.  I have a keen sense of self-preservation, so […]

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Bean Funnies

March 30, 2011

Tweet by Papa When you hear what sounds like someone diving into the toilet, he is, and it’s Moose. There is always a calm before a poop storm. Around Maison Bean a loud crash is always followed by a crying kid or a screaming adult.  If the crash is followed by both the kid crying […]

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And then came Moose

March 24, 2011

Tweet After Jax and I recovered from the colic, I fell so head over heels in love with him that it was almost gut-wrenching.  It was as if he had breathed life into me.  I reveled in everything he did.  “You’re my sun and my moon,” I told him over and over and over.  I […]

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The day after perfect Margaritas

March 22, 2011

Tweet By Papa in response to When the barflies dropped. In the beginning there was a near-empty liquor cabinet that housed a few stray bottles of red wine in varying degrees of emptiness, my emergency half-gallon bottle of vodka and a couple of cans of Zorro brew—6-year-old cheap-ass beer we use to drown garden slugs.  […]

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Kids, lies and birthdays

March 18, 2011

Tweet  Jax:        Mommy, who are you making that cake for? Me:        The colonel.  It’s his birthday. Jax:        How old is the colonel? Me:        Fifty. Jax:        Wow! . . . Mommy, how old is Papa? Me:        Sixty-seven. Jax:        WOW!  SIXTY-SEVEN?!  Me:        Yes. Jax:        Mommy, how old are you? Me:        Twenty-four. Jax:        [Clearly unimpressed] Oh. Note:  […]

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When the barflies dropped

March 16, 2011

Tweet It all started with Mimi. Mimi decided to give up wine for Lent. Then she convinced Zoro to do the same. And then she started harassing me. “Leave me alone,” I told her.  “I gave up my sanity.  I’m not giving up my cocktails.” Next there was Portia, whose husband bet her a new […]

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Great Grandpa Bean and the Road to Nowhere

March 9, 2011

Tweet By Papa Bean, Bean, Great Grandpa Bean, Commonly known as KING King, as in absolute monarch. Trust me, there was no parliament in the Bean kingdom during King’s reign. You addressed King as “sir,” “yes sir,” “no sir,”and under your breath, “absafrigginglutely, sir.” King never, never lied. The infuriating thing about the never lying […]

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Happy Mardi Gras!

March 8, 2011

Tweet Eat, drink and be merry because tomorrow is Lent.  Mimi is giving up vino.  I’m giving up my sanity.  I figured there wasn’t much of it left anyway. Cheers!

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Papa responds to Princess Hyacinth’s post

March 4, 2011

Tweet Guest post by Papa Note from Jenny: this is Papa’s response to Hyacinth’s post, and it only makes sense if you’ve read what Hyacinth wrote first. I would have written this earlier, but Rooster and I haven’t been able to stop laughing.  Royal Pekingese descendant, my ass!  Sure, she came from a castle on […]

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