Endless cycles
Convalescing friends
Portia broke her ankle in three places, and she wasn’t even drinking wine when she fell down the steps in the dark. Since the unfortunate occurrence, there have been doctors, a surgery with pins, and now a scary blue cast and boredom.
Portia: Are you ever going to blog again.
Me: Yes. I started a post while we were at the beach.
Portia: It has to be a Part II. Your last post was a Part I.
Me: I am well aware of that.
Portia: Well?!
Me: I’m working on it. It’s just that I spend every minute at home trying to keep clothes on Moose. I have this morbid fear that the Google satellite is going to take a picture of our house when he is in flagrante delicto and that Moose’s picture will end up in the hands of a bunch of perverts.
Portia: Girlfriend, I hate to break it to you, but you’re fighting a losing battle. The last time I was there that kid was riding his tricycle down the street in his birthday suit.
Brotherly love
Turns out that Flip and Flop are Brokeback Bunnies. Flip chases Flop, and Flop chases Flip. They start out clockwise and one gets on top and the one underneath gets out and hops counter clockwise. They both want to be on top.
The rain has really ruined my new sod, so when I’m drinking chardonnay and watching my grass not grow, and I want to cry, my gay bunnies make me laugh.
Indian names
Buzz decided that we should all have Indian names.
Jenny: Dances with Bunnies
Papa: Grumpy Bear
Jax, who has a very large, producing new front tooth: Big Tooth
Moose: Naked Tornado
Buzz, who is allergic to tomatoes: Itchy Tongue
Stay tuned for Mimi, Sissy and Belle.
Buzz Kill
Sissy, Buzz, and I let our hair down and kicked up the music one night when the whole Bean clan was at the beach. We also kicked up our heels. We were on the porch. Papa, who was inside watching TV, came out in a moment reminiscent of when we were teenagers and hollered at us to turn off the music.
“When this song is over,” I yelled.
Papa didn’t like my answer, so he popped the iPod out of the docking station and all went quiet.
Vicarious sex
“Jenny, what ARE you reading?”
It was a bodice ripper, and I wasn’t confessing to anything.
“Leave me alone, Mimi.”
“You’re at the seduction scene.”
“If you must know the duke has promised Clarissa’s uncle that he will not seduce her.”
“So why are you grinning?”
“The duke made the promise, not Clarissa. She’s trying to seduce him…. Now will you please leave me alone. I can’t concentrate with all of these questions. Geez.”
Maison Bean under attack
Papa has this obsessive compulsive need to finish all of the leftovers in the refrigerator… even if they are really old and have turned green and furry, so I wasn’t surprised on Monday night when he got food poisoning, although I did feel a little sorry for him, especially since he’s been good about buying my wine lately.
When Jax started throwing up Wednesday night, we realized that Papa’s food poisoning was, in fact, the mutant super virus.
Jax was pitiful, and he wanted to call everyone and tell them, including Aunt Sissy.
“Aunt Sissy is sick,” I told him.
“Aunt Sissy caught my cold?”
“Actually, I think you got it at the same time.”
“She got it at 8:24 too?”
It’s Friday afternoon, and as sure as it’s going to rain, Moose will get the nasty mutant super virus too. It’s his turn, and, besides, even as careful as I was to bleach everything in the house, I found Moose drinking out Jax’s cup of ginger ale.
Things are gonna get ugly.
{ 6 comments }
Well, I’m glad to see things are normal as usual at the Bean Maison. 😉 It has been a soggy summer, hasn’t it? You have funny bunnies, we have chicks….8 of them….flittering and bouncing all over the place. If it wasn’t for them it would be boring as hell here. I think we need to get a life when we start depending on family pets to entertain ourselves. Hope the creeping crude is ridding itself soon. It sucks being sick in the summer! I always look forward to your posts Jen. Tell Papa I said hi!
Summer sickness is never a good thing. Papa essentially pulling the plug on the music is kind of funny. But probably only because I wasn’t the one listening to the music 😉
Always great to see a new post from you in my inbox!
(I probably shouldn’t tell you that my summer has been anything but rainy, should I?)
I have it now. They should give this to Prisoners of War and sick Monkey Moose on them with his noisy toys…. They’d spill all of their secrets.
Thanks, Irene, for visiting. The chicks sound entertaining–I think you do have a life.
ALly, it’s taking me so long to type on this iPad that you cropped up while I was writing Irene. I need to visit your blog to find out what you’re up to.
LOLOLOL!!! “She got it at 8:24, too.” While I’m sorry you’re having issues with bugs that cause vomit…thanks for that chuckle!
I’m also sorry about all the rain. We had a lot in Michigan for the first couple of months of spring/summer. I was afraid I’d need blood transfusions from all the mosquito bites, but it calmed down, dried out, and hopefully killed 90% of the bugs. That or they went elsewhere. Here’s hoping they died a miserable death. 🙂
I just thought of a pertinent comment: in the reading of said “bodice ripper”, I hope you were using the proper in-brain tone i.e. “manifestations ” and whatnot. Otherwise , beware of the bunnies.
Comments on this entry are closed.